Monsters (2010)

Monsters (2010)
Director: Gareth Edwards
Writer: Gareth Edwards
Cast: Whitney Able, Scoot McNairy
Six years after Earth has suffered an alien invasion a cynical journalist agrees to escort a shaken American tourist through an infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the US border.
IMDB Page
Once you stop expecting a creature feature the film starts to draw you in and works as A road movie with a few subtle sci-fi elements. We follow a pair of stranded citizens and how they gradually fall in love as they make their way back to the US through a Quarantined/Infected zone in Mexico. Beautifully filmed soaking in a Mexico that is usually reserved for nature shows, I dare anyone could watch this without being blown away at the production quality the director, crew and cast have turned out for what is reported to be $15,000. Monsters wrongly will get its doubters those who expected it to be this years Cloverfield or District 9, the truth is 'it is what it is' and never tried to be.
(7½ out 10)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Director: Samuel Bayer
Writers: Wesley Strick, Eric Heisserer
Cast: Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara
A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality.
IMDB Page
80's horror icons have had a tough deal over the last few years, 1st we had rob zombie messing with Michael Myers, then they destroyed Jason Voorhees. Now its Freddy Kruegers time and sadly its 3 strikes and out. Its not so much that A Nightmare on Elm Street remake is bad, and Jackie Earle Haley as Krueger is fine. Its problem is it offers absolutely nothing new over Wes Cravens superior original making the whole remake feel pointless. So if you've seen the original I wouldn't bother if you haven't I'd probably go hunt that down first (failing that watch this version with CGI FX over the originals makeup FX). Sadly the studios never learn with the recent release of Piranha and Hellraiser in the works, we fans have more 80's horror ripoff's to be worried about (please god don't let them touch Cronenbergs films)
(5 out of 10)

Predators (2010)

Predators (2010)
Director: Nimród Antal
Writer: Alex Litvak, Michael Finch
Cast: Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Alice Braga, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo
A group of elite warriors are hunted by members of a merciless alien race known as Predators.
IMDB Page
Anyone like me who had expected this to do for Predator what Aliens did for the original Alien will be sadly let down, because what we get is a shameless Most Dangerous Game ripoff with Predators replacing the Count Zoroff role. 8 people are ripped from their lives and ported to a far away planet where they become the hunt for a group of Predators. For a film with so many good action moments they could of come up with a better plot. Also the characters are so one dimensional with next to no background what they did/was before falling out of the sky. You get a muscle bound Russian soldier, a yakuza/samurai type guy, African rebel soldier, a doctor (damn what is he gonna do heal people with twigs), a sexual deviant prisoner, a female army officer of some sort (she gives a brief comment on Arnie being only survivor cause he used mud to hide himself), Trejo seems to be just rehashing his Machete role for the few minutes hes onscreen then finally Brody as Royce the groups unofficial leader who Christ knows seems to be some brooding special ops soldier. Fishburne turns up halfway in as a scavenger who has managed to survive 8 maybe 10 seasons of these predator battles, he gives a little info on two types of Predator (big & smaller ones) that fight against each other almost as soon as he gets to say this he dies. Sure if your in the mood for a dumb action romp it'll be an adequate enough watch but I personally thought it was a total disaster. They successfully re-invented Batman & Startrek even the last Terminator was a step in the right direction after the piss poor 3rd sadly they've de-evolved the Predator franchise here, you get better plot and character development in video games than this.
(4½ out of 10)

30 Days of Night: Dark Days (2010)

30 Days of Night: Dark Days (2010)
Director: Ben Ketai
Writer: Steve Niles, Ben Templesmith, Ben Ketai
Cast: Kiele Sanchez,Diora Baird,Mia Kirshner
After surviving the incidents in Barrow, Alaska, Stella Olemaun relocates to Los Angeles, where she intentionally attracts the attention of the local vampire population in order to avenge the death of her husband Eben.
IMDB Page
Very poor straight to video sequel to 30 Days Of Night, the action as moved from the previous films chilly Alaskan small town to the seedier side of sunny LA. The plot follows Stella the lone survivor from the first movie (sadly most likely due to funds they've replaced Melissa George with Kiele Sanchez), shes now in LA doing lectures on her incident. She gets involved with a group of Vampire killers who are seeking to a kill an Elizabeth Bathory styled vamp leader called Lilith. About the only thing this sequel retains from the original is the way the vampires look (pale usually bald with all razor teeth). Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a massive budget for a STV movie, but at least they could of done a less muddled and quicker flowing paced plot than this trite. At least with the Lost Boys STV movies you got the cheesy fun of having the two Corey's frog brothers show up. other than the few brief moments it shows scenes from the original its all piss poor. Its got the most amateurish credits I think I've ever seen, imagine your Aunt and Uncle forced you to watch their camcorder holiday footage from their trip to LA. I've always enjoyed a good vampire yarn even if they suck theres usually blood and the odd naked vampire chick to look forward too, sadly here the blood looks like fruit juice plus zero bewb count with only 2 seconds of Lilith's ass on show even TV vampires give us more than this crap. I said "Pound for pound it’s the best vampire yarn since Near Dark" about the original, for Dark Days I'd say pound for pound go rent anything else and I pray they don't make any more.
(3 out of 10)

Sea of Dust (2008)

Sea of Dust (2008)
Director: Scott Bunt
Writer: Scott Bunt
Cast: Tom Savini, Ingrid Pitt, Troy Holland
An ideology has been loosed on the world, one so powerful, so devastating, that nothing can withstand it. It’s left to a handful of misfits to save mankind by attempting just that.
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)


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Manson, My Name Is Evil (2009)

Manson, My Name Is Evil (2009)
aka Leslie, My Name is Evil
Director: Reginald Harkema
Writer: Reginald Harkema
Cast: Kristen Hager, Gregory Smith, Ryan Robbins
Charles Manson's lust for blood left not only a trail of victims across Los Angeles, but also his minion's lives shattered. Leslie, a former cheerleader and prom queen, is one such follower of the serial killer. During her murder trial, one of the jury members, Perry, a sheltered chemical engineer, finds himself falling in love with the dangerous woman charged.
IMDB Page
Pseudo biographical drama about Charles Manson family member Leslie Van Houten. Whom in 1969 was involved in a second night of murders involving Mansons LSD crazed family. The film is more about Leslies side of the trail and how she captivated a boyish Christian juror called Perry. Well made in parts but shockingly cheap in others (namely the cheap tactic of cutting to stock footage, must count towards 20% of the film). The film centers almost entirely on the lives of Leslie & Perry with Manson and his fellow hippy freaks becoming almost a sideshow. Reginald Harkema does far too much over handed direction with the infamous events (subtle this is not), and for a man who started in editing you'd expect a better job with those already mentioned roughly interlaced stock footage moments. The story is supposedly more fantasy then reality but settles down once the trail section begins (well other than an unnecessary dream sequence involving Perry having a dream about killing his girl/future wife and then having bloodied sex with Leslie). Acting is probably the films best feature Ryan Robbins is fine in what moments Charlie is onscreen as are the female family members, Gregory Smith is good as the innocent Perry and the very attractive Kristen Hager is well cast as Leslie. Ironically the reason I watched this was because king of low grade shock cinema John Waters condemned this film as a cheap tactic and misleading, due in most part to his friendship with the still incarcerated Van Houten. I'll be honest I was spellbound with Hagers performance (damn how much better does a bad film feel with good eye candy) sadly though other than a few moments of nudity this feels like a made for TV real life crime drama (the kind Hallmark screen at the weekends usually after their illness of the week film)
(6 out of 10)

Creaturealm: From the Dead (1998)

Creaturealm: From the Dead (1998)
Director: Ron Ford, Kevin J. Lindenmuth
Writer: Ron Ford, Kevin J. Lindenmuth
Cast: Randal Malone, Anita Page, Margaret O'Brien
Low budget horror double bill, first part "Hollywood Mortuary" second part is called "Eyes of the Ripper".
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)
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Lyumi (1991)

Lyumi (1991)
Director: Vladimir Bragin
Writer: Vladimir Bragin
Cast: Andrei Shcherbovich-Vecher, Vita Grebneva, Nadezhda Butyrtseva
Something by name Lyumi is lurking in the forest beside a Baltic settlement, is it a maniac or could it even be a werewolf ?
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)
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Camp Hell (2010)

Camp Hell (2010)
aka Camp Hope
Director: George VanBuskirk
Writer: George VanBuskirk
Cast: Dana Delany, Jesse Eisenberg, Bruce Davison, Christopher Denham
At the end of every summer, the children of a Christian community from a suburb of New Jersey attend Camp Hope. They travel deep into the woods far from any distractions the world provides. Here, the children are taught the ways of the Lord, the perils of the flesh, and the horror of the Devil. A charismatic priest leads them in their training. But, he unknowingly has brought something with him, something evil. What was supposed to be a safe place, a spiritual retreat has now turned into nightmare that not even faith can end.
IMDB Page
Cautionary tale about the dangers of forcing your adolescent son to read the bible & Dante before bedtime instead of a good comic or girly mag. Wrongly packaged as an horror the plots about a tight knit Christian community's teenage summer camp and the angst the kids feel inside. Anyone old enough to survive their teens remember they're painful enough without the pressure of being sent to a Crazy Christian camp every summer. I feel cheated at being sold this as horror when clearly it isn't, also at fact I was expecting Zombielands Jesse Eisenberg who is in it briefly in a sub story about a teen pushed so far he needed mental care after slicing both his and younger sisters wrists. File under one to avoid & be warned don't think your getting a summer camp teen kill horror flick with religious overtones like I did .
(3 out of 10)

Machete (2010)

Machete (2010)
Directors: Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis
Writers: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodríguez
Cast: Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan & introducing Don Johnson
After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.
IMDB Page
Fuck yeah thanks for Blades, Bewbs & Buckets'o'Blood as Rodriguez shameless mexploitation throwback to early 80's action b-movies rides into town on a drop handle Harley. Famously it started life as the most popular mock trailer between his and Tarantinos Grindhouse double bill. Plots about lone Mexican drifter Machete (Trejo) and his attempt to bring down Texas's corrupt leadership and the redneck vigilante border patrol they've set up.The cast fit so well Trejo was born to play the central lead Machete, aiding him are Alba as undercover agent Sartana and Michelle Rodriguez as Luz a underground Mexican freedom fighter. Then theres the brutes Steven Seagal, Don Johnson & legendary FX artist Tom Savini working with Jeff Fahey to get crooked politician De Niro into power. Also added in the mix are Cheech Marin as Machetes stoner Priest brother and Lindsay Lohan (a role echoing her personal life & managing to fit a nod towards exploitation gem MS.45) as a wayward coke fueled socialite turned killer nun.

Thankfully the risk of turning that Grindhouse trailer into a main feature after the luke warm reception & box office they received paid off, as this is far more authentic and a much more rewarding view than both Death Proof & Planet Terror. It starts with its foot firmly down on the accelerator and never takes it off, ticking everything 80's trash cinema ever threw our way while speeding by then delivering us new delights. I swear during the scene Machete intestine bungee jumps from an hospital ward, I had a smile on my face like I was 8 years old again opening gifts on Christmas day. Essential viewing for anyone like myself who grew up seeing Robert Gintys flamethrower/meat grinder killing spree in the classic The Exterminator.
(9 out of 10)

Arnold (1973)

Arnold (1973)
aka Family Plot
Director: Georg Fenady
Writers: Jameson Brewer, John Fenton Murray
Cast: Stella Stevens, Roddy McDowall, Elsa Lanchester
Upon his death, Arnold marries his lover, Karen, in spite of his widow, and leaves deathtraps accompanied by audiotapes and his preserved and articulate corpse for those who cared only for his money.
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)



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The Dummy (1982)

The Dummy (1982)
Director: Louis La Volpe
Writer: Louis La Volpe
Cast: Carri Vickrey, Ezra Teitelbaum
A woman is horrified at being left alone in her apartment with her partners ventriloquist dummy.
IMDB Page
The Dummy is a 1982 student short film about a woman horrified at being left alone in her apartment with her partners ventriloquist doll. It's beauty is in how simple its made, like how the dolls shown to move with simple cut scenes to its feet rather than cgi or an animatronic puppet like we would get today. Is a fun creepy little 7 and half minute short which apparently run on various cable horror shows during the 1980's. Watch the whole movie on youtube in the link below.
(7 out of 10)

The Pack (2010)

The Pack (2010)
aka La Meute
Director: Franck Richard
Writer: Franck Richard
Cast: Yolande Moreau, Émilie Dequenne, Eric Godon
In the middle of a snowy no man's land, Charlotte picks up Max, a hitchhiker; they stop in a truck-stop restaurant, and when Max doesn't come back from the bathroom, Charlotte starts looking for him in vain. She decides to return during the night but gets kidnapped by the bartender, La Spack, who turns out to be Max's mother and needs to feed her kids, 'The pack', a bunch of blood lusting ghouls. Charlotte now faces a terrifying reality: these ghouls are already dead... and hungry. Alone and in the middle of nowhere, she quickly realizes... she's next on the menu!
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)

9 Temples (2010)

9 Temples (2010)
Director: Saranyoo Jiralak
Cast: Siraphan Wattanajinda, Penpak Sirikul, Paradorn Sirakowit, James Mackie
9 Temples is a story about one man's journey to make amends in order to correct his bad karma by visiting 9 temples in 7 days. The journey leads him and his companion into series of unexpected and horrific revelations. Upon his mother's request, Nat, a young architect unwillingly takes a journey to visit 9 temples in order to change back his karma. Accompanied by Poon, his beautiful columnist girlfriend and Sujitto, a young novice monk, the three characters have different purposes through the journey. They later realise that they were ordained to make this trip collectively and one person's fate can affect the other, and the horrendous acts of their previous lives begin to reveal themselves one by one.
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)

Death Bell 2 Bloody Camp (2010)

Death Bell 2 Bloody Camp (2010)
aka Gosa 2
Director: Seon-dong Yu
Cast: Jeong-eum Hwang, Su-ro Kim, Hyeon-sang Kwon
A student teacher is assigned to a high school. Once she arrives a succession of murders start occurring.
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)


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Death Bell (2008)

Death Bell (2008)
aka Gosa
Director: Yoon Hong-Seung
Writers: Yoon Hong-Seung, Kim Eun-Kyeong
Cast: In-sook Choi,Da-Geon, Sung Jin
A bunch of smart students are tortured when they have an extra class.
IMDB Page
(Not Yet Rated)


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La horde (2009)

La Horde (2009)
akaThe Horde, Legion of Evil
Directors: Yannick Dahan, Benjamin Rocher
Writers: Arnaud Bordas, Yannick Dahan, Stéphane Moïssakis
Cast: Claude Perron, Jean-Pierre Martins, Eriq Ebouaney, Aurélien Recoing
When four corrupt policemen invade a gangster's hideout near Paris to avenge the death of their colleague, they quickly find themselves outmanned, outgunned and trapped. That is, until a legion of vicious zombies swarms through the building. Now, the cops, the crooks and the undead are swept up in a bloody three-way rampage. Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher direct this gore-filled French thriller that stars Jo Prestia and Eriq Ebouaney.
IMDB Page
After a colleague gets killed, a vigilante team of cops head out to kill the criminal gang responsible. The thugs headed by a pair of Nigerian brothers hideout in a derelict tower block on the outskirts of Paris. Things go wrong for the police and the gang kill a few members, only they don't stay corpses for long as it seems all Paris's dead are coming back to life. This leaves both parties along with the apartments remaining residents the only option of fighting the zombies together. With a budget rumored to be slightly breaking the one million pound mark the director, cast & crew have made a good modern zombie action romp. Its one flaw being it offers nothing unique, we have already had 28 Days Later's running zombies and apartment block set horrors most similar to Horde being Demons 2. This slight niggle aside its well worth hunting down for zombie fans my favorite bit was the retired soldiers use of a machine gun against the undead hordes, infact it probably uses more guns than any previous zombie film, offering action nuts John Woo levels of gun play & squib use.
(7 out of 10)

Frankenstein and Me (1996)

Frankenstein and Me (1996)
Director: Robert Tinnell
Writer: Richard Goudreau, David Sherman, Robert Tinnell
Cast: Jamieson Boulanger, Burt Reynolds, Ricky Mabe
Earl Williams is a dreamer teenager obsessed with monsters, who fantasizes his life as if he were living in the world of the monsters of the Universal Studios. Although being an excellent student, his intolerant and nasty school teacher Mrs. Perdue does not like him and punishes him for any minor fault. His supportive father Les Williams is also a dreamer, who has never been successful in life. When his father dies, his mother becomes lost with two boys, and tries to change the behavior of Earl. One day, the boy finds the "true Frankenstein" lost by a Carnival, and decides to bring the monster back to life.
IMDB Page
Highly entertaining Canadian childrens fantasy about Earl & Larry Williams, two young boys who have just lost their father Les to an heart attack (he's played in flash backs by Burt Reynolds during his full on wig period). Eldest son Earl is affected most wraping himself even further into a fantasy dreamworld filled with famous monsters era horror icons. Luck lands in the 12 year olds lap one night, while leaving a local carnival he finds a crate they've lost containing a sideshow Frankenstein attraction. So he along with his brother and a handful of friends set about resurrecting it "Insane! was Einstein or err Boris Karloff insane..."

It lovingly captures a childs imaginary world and like the recent Son of Rambo film, it's equally recommended to children as it is to older film affectionados like myself. Earls bedroom is decorated with Universal horror action figures and Famous Monsters of Filmland magazines and posters, best of all his dreams and the tales he tells his younger brother are done as fantastic vintage horror film pastiches these include Frankenstein, The Wolfman, Brides Of Dracula, Night of the Living Dead and The Mummy. Director Robert Tinnell really proves he knows his genre, all though the makeup isn't technically as good as that of Monster Squad it makes it up with atmospheric detail. I loved this flick so much best moment was the NOTLD dream. Sadly other than landing lucky and unearthing a dusty old VHS or finding one of its brief cable TV screenings it hasn't seen the light of day for 15 years, this gem really deserves a modern format release.
(8½ out of 10)

A Serbian Film (2010)

A Serbian Film (2010)
aka Srpski Film
Director: Srdjan Spasojevic
Writers: Aleksandar Radivojevic, Srdjan Spasojevic
Cast: Srdjan Todorovic, Sergej Trifunovic, Jelena Gavrilovic
An aging porn star agrees to participate in an "art film" in order to make a clean break from the business, only to discover that he has been drafted into making a pedophilia and necrophilia themed snuff film.
IMDB Page
For the first time in cultdb's/my own film viewing history I am going to put out a kind of disclaimer to people, to quote the film 8mm "There are some things that you see, and you can't unsee"
!!! PLEASE BE EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS
BEFORE VIEWING THIS FILM !!!
[Right so I had heard the online hype surrounding this film for a while. I've even had it here gathering dust for a few months not feeling in the mood for a dark movie to spoil my summer. So time come to watch it, So I can handle this right ? .... errr well I did but it was an extremely painful hollow viewing experience. Over the years I've seen pretty much everything and anything I could lay my hands on. I think during your teens you watch gore/extreme horror films to test yourself (kinda rites of passage to see if you are man enough)... So I've seen all the UK banned video nasties including the mondo docu's the cannibal films & nazisploitation ones. Since then I've seen Pasolini's Salo, absolute bucket loads of Asian sex/gore movies by the likes of Hisayasu Sato & Daisuke Yamanouchi, heaps of newer American sexualized gore films like the August Underground series and more recent hard edged European fodder by the likes of Agusti Villaronga, Gaspar Noe, Philippe Grandrieux, Catherine Breillat & Pascal Laugier.]

All of which only part way prepared me for A Serbian Film. The plot follows a semi retired pornstar Milos who via a fellow porn actress gets introduced to Vukmir. He offerers Milos the opportunity to earn big money for doing one more secretive movie performance that would see him, wife and son financially secure for the rest of their lives. Things start to spiral out of control for the actor when the director starts introducing torture into the sex and insists on having a teenage girl watch. Milos refuses to continue working with the twisted Vukmir who clearly as lost all faith in humanity, the director tries to convince Milos by giving him a private screening of what must be the most taboo breaking clip I or I would imagine anyone viewing has ever seen (at this point I was going to switch the film off like I'd suspect most viewers would, I'm sure loads walked out of screenings after or during it). Milos is like mindedly sickened and walks away, only Vukmir needs to finish his film so with the aid of an attrctive doctor drugs poor Milos into doing ever more sickening and degrading things ultimately leading back to the now unhinged hallucinating porn actors family.

The soundtrack was droney and worked well also the cast and crew did a good job as did the cinematographer. Some viewers have stated it's got a political subtext, I am not so sure I suspect it was made to sicken and horrify. And dare I say cash in a little on the recent torture/horror market with films like Martyrs & Grotesque earning good money. I'm not going to say its good or bad, for me it fell somewhere between. Sure you can call that a cop out but it's so hard to judge the merits of a film that makes you feel so empty and touches the pit of your stomach, and in no way rewards you.

(7 out of 10)