aka: Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares
Director: Kirk Bowman
Writer: Kirk Bowman
Cast: Heidi Brucker, Danilo Mancinelli, Mira Rayson, Danny Kitz, Danielle Kreinik
Passionate archeology students search the Burbank mountains for Angela's Jewel Box, an artifact created by the King's Sorceress. It was lost by New World explorers in 1774. Now, modern air pollution has warped the strange powers of the box, giving any female who touches its glistening jewels the urge to eat men. Good-natured Gary finds the box. Frustrated with his sexy girlfriend Samantha's cold shoulder, he offers it to her competitor Janet, in exchange for sex. He barely escapes, suddenly realizing he's about to be filet mignon. Gary accidentally drops jewels throughout Burbank, leaving a trail of "man-hungry" babes in his wake. Girls turn into shameless cannibals on the street, at the beach and even in a Burbank Bar. A mysterious drifter with a secret and the girl he loves are the only hope to destroy the box. They must submerge the box in sea water to destroy its evil powers before it's too late. Don't miss the surprise ending - it's definitely not for the faint-of-heart!
'Two archaeologist teams fight it out for the chance of winning a holiday, one teams subject is later day sex toys/dildos the others is trying to uncover a lost jewellery box believed to belong to a medieval witch. Sadly for the film we follow the later team’s progress as they venture into a local Burbank forest Blair Witch style to find the box. On finding it we learn that its contents turn all females into man eating demons , thankfully for male viewers its with the side effect of stripping off. It’s a real low grade shitfest featuring joke shop quality props. It’s hard though to get so down about it as it’s clearly aimed at the so bad its fun crowd, with the added benefit that some of the actresses involved are very pleasing on the eye. You get bikini clad chicks chomping on people with gore that looks more like cake and food colouring with the added blood done by computers. During one scene a guy shouts ‘This can’t be happening this is Burbank’ sadly it happened and I had the misfortune of sitting through all 90 minutes. Recommended to fans of trash who like their semi naked chicks wearing novelty fangs.'
(3 out of 10)
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