She Woke Up Pregnant, 1996 - ★★

She Woke Up Pregnant, 1996 - ★★


“We're not talking NC17 here, we are talking XXX.” - Dr. Roger Nolton (Joe Penny)

Lifetime's typewriter beating monkeys really earn their bananas with this gloriously inept, lurid slice of soap opera. Its the tale of a faithful housewife, whose wholesome life gets ripped apart when she finds out shes going to be visited by Mr. Stork, even though her husbands long since had the snip. Turns out her dentists been getting his thing on with his sedated patients, and she was unfortunate enough to take the mother-load (so to say).

She Woke Up Pregnant aka Crimes of Silence features rape, abortion/pregnancy and adoption dilemmas, a dirt throwing court trial, family breakdown, pornography, a rape sting... its Lifetime gold folks, and they're cashing it all in. The trite performances make the material even more cheesetastic. Michele Greene and William R. Moses's acting is so wooden, marionettes would blush. Joe Penny's in fine slimy form, as a sort of softer daytime tv friendly cousin of David Hess. Wonder Woman mmmMMM Lynda Carter even turns up as the shameless, dirty practice using defense lawyer.

[Personal Reasons For Remembering]

Michele Greene nightmarish rape back-flashes were pretty lurid at the beginning, but the rape stings gotta take the biscuit. When they coax an attractive court guard to pretend to need dental work, resulting in our sleazeball dentist learning his lesson and cracking open a condom.

LIFETIME 101: Rapes bad mkay. But if you must participate please use contraceptives.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

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