Alien Zone (1978)

Alien Zone (1978)
aka: Last Stop on 13th St, The House of the Dead
Director: Sharron Miller
Writer: David O'Malley
Country: USA Runtime: 89 min Soundtrack: Stan Worth as Stan V. Worth
Cast: John Ericson, Ivor Francis, Judith Novgrod, Burr DeBenning
A man who is having an affair with a married woman is dropped off on the wrong street when going back to his hotel. He takes refuge out of the rain when an old man invites him in. He turns out to be a mortician, who tells him the stories of the people who have wound up in his establishment over the course of four stories.

During a stormy night a sales rep who is having an affair with a married woman ends up being dropped off in the wrong area, and gets invited in from the storm by a mortician. The mortician tells him four tales based on the lives of the bodies in his funeral palor.The first story concerns school teacher Miss Sibiler, who gets victimized in her home by a group of party masked kids, when the children eventually take off their masks she relizes they're monsters. The second helping follows a lonely man who securs dates with various women, on bringing them back to his appartment, he murders them while filming. The third tale is about a world famous inspector from scotland yard named McDowal, he observes a US detective has he tries to solve a case concerning a killer who sends anonimous letters before he stalks. It turns out the Englishman isn't all he seems. The final tale follows rich self important businessman Den Cantwell, being trapped in an elevator shaft within a empty building. He's slowly fed wine, untill he becomes a bum.At the end we learn the mortician is really a death type character who is there to pick up the sales rep, because he's been shot by the husband of the woman he's been cheating with.

I'm not sure what the hell went on with this anthology horror, or why its mostly known as Alien Zone, its either been cut to ribbens or never contained science fiction or alien themes. It all feels like something is missing, the second story especially feels unfinished. I must be honest the segment with the masked kids, has a slightly creepy atmosphere, but I'd avoid the hell out of it.

Themes Included: Clown Mask ● Shower Stalking ● Filmed Death

Cultdb Totals
[Rated 2½ out of 10]
[Deathcount 6]
[Gorequota 1/10]
[Boobquota 0/10]

Gun's Eye (1990)

Gun's Eye (1990)
aka: Im Visier des Todes
Director: Jerry Koch
Writer: Jerry Koch
Cast: Jerry Koch, Teresa Wingerter, Scot Heminger, Brigitte Baker, Chris Knox
Vic happens upon a rare luger in a shop. He needs to buy this gun and slowly the gun possesses and mutates him into a killing machine.

Obscure low grade movie following a man Vic, in the hope of making some easy money he tries selling an old flames ring in a pawn shop, but instead of recieving cash he gets lured into trading it for a mysterious ww2 German Luger pistol. During a weekend break with his new girlfriend and friends the gun starts to take control over Vic, eventually mutating into his own hand, sending him on a vicious killing spree starting with the pawn shop owner.

Pretty dull film lacking any pace, humor or coherence. The actors sit around most the time in cheesy 80's under wear or tight fit shorts, with next to no involvement with whats happening. The possessed gun as something to do with its original Nazi war criminal owner, but the back story (haha like it tries) is filmed through a truly dire gun barrel visual effect thats like looking down a long pipe at a dot. The only selling point to horror fans and for curiosity reasons only, is the Cronenburg/Videodrome gun in hand mutation rip off. There's a good reason why very few people have seen this film, because its a total turkey.

(2 out of 10)

Insane (2010)

Insane (2010)
Director: Anders Jacobsson, Tomas Sandquist
Writer: Mikael Fuchs, Anders Jacobsson
Cast: Jacobsson Anton, Lars Bethke, Tommy Hall
A lonely hotel by a lonely road. Sarah is lost, looking for somewhere to sleep. She's come to the wrong place. A lonely hotel by a lonely road. Sarah is lost, Jenny is looking for her. She's come to the right place. The Bridgeburn Hotel.

There's no excuse for films as lazy as this, I mean most lower budget films have nothing going for them. But Insane as a few real pluses 1) its got a fantastic location with the very odd Twin Peaks looking hotel 2) a pretty good fx crew, the opening death is done really well as is a metal bar in the head kill later on. 3) though not oscar worthy the actors are good enough. 4) the killer actually looks great with his gas mask and tight leather coat.
Yet what does Insane do ? it totally fucking blows it by offering the most dull plot ever put on film, then to add insult to the viewer it's delivered with zero enthusiasm by the director who can't create a tone or atmosphere.

It's basically lone female checks into an isolated hotel then gets killed, then another lone female checks into same hotel blah de blah de blah. Here goes sure its a spoiler but fuck it we learn its the bellboy (which isn't a shock as he's been the only fucking person on screen most the whole god damned film) the reason is given briefly at the end that his mother used to rent rooms out as well as him as a child, to travelling salesmen. So he's decided he's got something against women and kills them, roll credits....

Honestly its an insult to low budget film makers around the world who at least try, who don't get half the breaks this film got. Simple fact is if you can't write a script or create atmosphere at least add some humor. I'd sooner watch a 5 hour loop of paint drying for a week than sit through this shit, how I even managed to sit through this turkey once is beyond me I need a meddle.

(2½ out of 10)

Alice in Murderland (2010)

Alice in Murderland (2010)
Director: Dennis Devine
Writer: Dennis Devine
Cast: Malerie Grady, Marlene Mc'Cohen, Kelly Kula
It's Alice's birthday and her sorority girlfriends throw her a themed party. Everyone comes as their favorite, sexy character from Wonderland. The Jabberwocky wasn't invited and brings murder and mayhem to the girls' night out.

Boy was this little film a total waste of time, the premise when a girl turns 18 her friends decide for some moronic reason to hold an Alice In Wonderland themed party for her in the house her mother was brutally killed years earlier. From then on in while they're arranging the party people start to get killed, and in the most boring as little blood spilt off screen manner possible.

I'll forgive low budget films a few things like we don't expect oscar worthy acting, which we certainly don't get here, but having such a dumb premise without making it funny is plain dumb. The film exist purely because for some reason they had Alice In Wonderland costumes, more than likely borrowed from a local theatre due to do an Alice play. Avoid at all costs and don't be fooled either by the cosplay styled Alice on the DVD sleeve, the girls don't look that great in the film itself more like boyfriendless students or pay their way through college hookers.

(2 out of 5)

Bloodwood Cannibals (2010)

Bloodwood Cannibals (2010)
aka: Bloodwood
Director: Joshua A. Siegel
Writer: Joshua A. Siegel
Cast: Joe Calavita, Nathan Anthony Carter, Kate Forsyth Corey
A documentary film crew is stalked by a pack of cannibals.

While trying to find a Yeti, A group of hack urban myth creature filmmakers get attacked by a bunch of cannibals. Low grade horror crapfest with a tired plot, zero gore and criminally unfunny gags. Avoid at all cost, even Troma would be ashamed to release junk like this.

(2 out of 10)

MindFlesh (2008)

MindFlesh (2008)
Director: Robert Pratten
Writer: Robert Pratten, William Scheinman
Cast: Peter Bramhill, Carole Derrien, Christopher Fairbank
MindFlesh is a psycho-sexual horror/thriller about obsession. Chris Jackson is a taxi driver with a childhood trauma.

Dire beyond belief low budget/grade British horror mess, plots about a recently split from his ex taxi driver who becomes obsessed with a ghostly female apparition he sometimes bumps into late at night, he then starts to track her/it while on duty.

I hate being so negative towards new directors (I've friends who've tried their hands at directing low budget films and been told how hard it is) but this really shouldn't of been given a retail release, the only shock about Mindflesh is how Robert Pratten got to release another film after his god awful London Voodoo. The plots trite and so dull, and will test even the most bored die hard genre fans to sit through it till the end. The actors throw their boring lines out with absolutely no emotion whatsoever (even the worst horror movies usually have one or two actors in them who want to be behind that camera and in a film of any kind). And the final and worst thing about this piece of crap is the over use of sub youtube video FX (honestly you'll not see anything as basic as this since the 80's VHS era). Without a question avoid this turkey at all costs.

(2 out of 10)

Otto or Up with Dead People (2008)

Otto or Up with Dead People (2008)

Director: Bruce La Bruce
Writer: Bruce La Bruce
Cast: Jey Crisfar, Katharina Klewinghaus, Susanne Sachße, Marcel Schlutt
A young zombie named Otto appears on a remote highway. He has no idea where he came from or where he is going.

Low budget gay cinema director Bruce La Bruce dishes up a pretentious angst ridden partially b&w zombie movie. I sat through this gutter junk for the sole reason I thought maybe I'd get a little gore pay off and a few nods at zombie cinema, I was painfully misguided. Each fifteen minutes is longer than the last as we follow Otto a German zombie come to terms with his own identity while he's being followed by an arthouse film maker. Most scenes involve Otto walking the streets while we hear a voiceover of inane theological drivel about what its like being dead or gay in the modern world. On the plus side it is pretty well shot and like most La Bruce films full of pretty looking young actors. But please unless you're a angst ridden closet homosexual zombie leave well alone, infact if you are you'd be better cheering yourself up with something like Shaun Of The Dead than watching this anal gazing turkey.

(3 out of 10)

Blood and Sex Nightmare (2008)

Blood and Sex Nightmare (2008)
Director: Joseph R. Kolbek
Cast: Jeremiah Bruckart, Tina Krause, Andy McGuinness
Something unholy is stalking the guests of The Pleasure Mountain Adult Retreat. Local legend states that 40 years ago, a serial killer hung himself in these woods. Today, a sex resort sits on the site, and couples eager to sample a swinging lifestyle in rustic surroundings arrive in droves. Everything goes well and business is booming until, one by one, the guests begin to disappear.

(Not Yet Rated)

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Anus Magillicutty (2003)

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Dying God (2008)

Dying God (2008)

Director: Fabrice Lambot
Writer: Jean Depelley, Fabrice Lambot
Cast: James Horan, Misty Mundae, Lance Henriksen

In a dark and decadent city, Sean Fallon (James Horan) - a corrupt cop - will have to face his own demons to put an end to a series of brutal rapes and murders of the most weirdest kind. With the help of the local pimps, headed by Chance (Lance Henriksen), Fallon will go the hunt for the serial killer, that may in the end not be human!

Truly dire film making on all fronts lazy acting, script, direction and fx work. Sure its a low budget film but even that can't excuse the lack of effort the cast and crew have put into it. Henriksen should know better than to take junk like this and I'd thought Misty Mundae had grown out of making trash after her cool turn in Lucky McKee's MOH episode 'Sick Girl' but I guess not. The plot starts with a back flash of a child running out of a jungle with a small baby in his arms, cut to present and there's a prostitute killing serial killer on the loose, who's MO is he's raping the victims to death in the hope he can father a child. Sleaze-ball cop Sean Fallon is assigned to catch the killer as its interfering with a local election. Turns out when he finally does track the killer it isn't human but a Monster/Demon trying unsuccessfully to father an offspring. The fx work for the monster is laughably bad and will remind you of the 10 dollar suites they use in power rangers. Gores pretty low as well only remotely memorable set piece being the monster cutting an unborn foetus from a pregnant victim. The films littered with mild sex scenes and naked chicks Misty herself gets her top off for a quick car sex scene. For a film this bad its a shame its so joyless maybe a few gags would of managed to turn it into a trash gag fest but as it is don't waste your time. Maybe a MST3K/Rifftrax style comedy overdub would save it.

(2 out of 10)

Soul's Midnight (2006)

Soul's Midnight (2006)
Director: Harry Basil
Writers: Brian Cleveland, Jason Cleveland
Cast: Armand Assante, Robert Floyd, Elizabeth Ann Bennett, Lucila Solá, Miguel Pérez
Soul's Midnight is a present day vampire horror based on a historic cult who delves into ancient rituals revolving around the legend of St. George. The Eve of St. George is upon them and they must find the perfect sacrifice, a child with an untainted ancestry to St George, to resurrect their ancient leader.

'Garbage horror film that gives STV's a bad name. The plots a bastardized take on the St. George myth swapping the dragon for a reborn vampire demon. 30 years ago a woman flees a cult who are hell bent on killing her unborn baby, cut to present and Charles (the baby from the intro) Milford returns to his home town with his wife, so she can have her child and Charles can take over his fathers meat business. Only the cult (whom we now find out are vampires) try to kill Charles and his unborn son. Its an absolute turkey Armand Assante should of known better, the plots shockingly bad as is the dialog, acting is stand in front of the camera and say your lines quality (I guess you can't blame the actors though, having a script this dire to work with). Films of this nature tend to offer least some mild sexual titillation or gore but sadly it doesn’t even do that, the demon when it arrives looks pretty good but nothing you wouldn't see walk into a Goosebumps episode. The fact the locations used are pretty good only ads insult to the filmmakers for not making the most of the spooky hotel and its grounds. Leave it in the bargain bin folks, trust me almost anything else in there will be better.'

(2½ out of 10)

Blood Monkey (2007)

Blood Monkey (2007)
Director: Robert Young
Writers: George LaVoo, Gary Dauberman
In this gruesome thriller, six grad students, lured by a legendary professor (F. Murray Abraham) to the jungles of Africa to study apes, suddenly find themselves at the mercy of a horde of bloodthirsty chimps.
'Six student anthropologists three male three female get the chance to get hands on expirence when asked to join professor Hamilton and his helper in an African jungle. Unbeknown to them though they're not only aiding his expiriment but food for it. I went expecting something like a Congo but was let down as the films a total mess. All the young actors are bad stereotypes not one is likeable, out of the girls you have the do-gooder, the hot one, the dorky helpful one, the guys you have the jock joker, the nerd and finally the hero who's like a low rent Colin Farrell. They're the the most annoying group ever, think reality gameshow tv bad then add some. Then you've the professor played by Christ what's he thinking F. Murray Abraham who walks round the film like he's playing Fidel Castro I honestly shit you not. We are treated to a bit of plot about professor Castro and his find of a clan of missing link style apes. Each of the group are given blood tags (at this point I suspect some major important moment in the film and why its called Blood Monkey oddly its never mentioned again hehe). It takes an hour of wandering round doing nothing before the first of the group is bumped off, and we see nothing no gore and to insult the viewers who lets face it are most likely going to be male its the good looking girl, so chances of a worthwhile sex scene drops to zero. Doesn't take long before more join her again not really anything is shown, in true 1950's sci-fi fashion I was expecting ohh its a film that's saving its creature/creatures till the end and no wonder as when we get to our last few cast members and do finally see the ape its piss poor CGI that's onscreen for all of 30 seconds. Its shockingly shit and not the kind of junk you can have a few beers and laugh at.'

(2½ out of 10)

Cypress (2003)

Cypress (2003)
Director: Bryon Pickel
A couple who stumble onto an unbelievably low priced house in Odessa, Tx. It was a story that could have been written by modern day Edgar Allen Poe, so there was eventually a price to pay.
'40 minutes waste of digital video, and everyone who was involved time. Sure you could argue well it was given free over the net so why do you have the right to complain but asking people for 40 minutes of their time to watch something with the class and production value of a youtube clip gives the viewer a right to moan. The plots about a found story in what appears to be an haunted room. Basically we get three scenes one a dull almost job interview style scene, another is of new couple being haunted in their new home and the other is the story's writer as he types the thing out. All these are then spliced together in the hope the viewer can make something out of it, I couldn't and not a chance I'm going to rewatch to see if I missed something.'
(2 out of 10)

Don't Be Scared (2006)

Don't Be Scared (2006)
Director: Master P
Writer: Master P
Hip-hop sensations Master P and Romeo star in this tale of urban horror. When a serial killer starts prowling a college campus for its next kill, chaos erupts as students realize they are the targets in a deadly game.
'Contender for not only the worst film of the year but of the millenium. Urban horror strikes more dread into horror fans hearts than seeing classics remade. Was that period in the 70's blaxsploitation was funky with the likes of Ganja & Hess/Blacula/Abby, but the current slurry of mostly black acted horror Holla/Dead Riot/Hood of the Living Dead and numerious Todd 'Watcha talkin bout Willis' Bridges acted ones have been pointless crapfests. So the fact Don't Be Scared is even worse is no small task. Its plot for what little there is revolves around a black guy who gets killed at a party, then being brought back alive to start on a killing spree. Everything about it blows poorly acted (musicians in movies suck, that goes more so when its rap/r'n'b stars) the pace is dire, the kills are lame I could go on more about its flaws but can't be bothered even die hard bad movie fans are gonna struggle with this.'

(1 out of 10)

Nightmare Man (2006)

Nightmare Man (2006)
Director: Rolfe Kanefsky
Writer: Rolfe Kanefsky
Cast: Tiffany Shepis, Blythe Metz, Luciano Szafir, Hanna Putnam
After receiving a mysterious mask, Ellen Morris believes she was attacked by an evil being she calls ‘Nightmare Man’. Her husband, Bill, believes she is crazy. On their way to the mental hospital their car breaks down and Bill goes to get gas, leaving Ellen alone. When Nightmare Man appears, Ellen takes off into the woods, unsure whether she is hallucinating or not. She stumbles upon a cabin filled with friends who unknowingly becoming prey the moment Ellen steps inside.

'Another After Dark Horror Festival film. Until watching this turkey, I’d been happy enough with the 2nd set of horror fest films (I mean Lake Dead was pretty bad but the others I thought were average or above). This one though is so bad, shouldn’t of got a theatre showing, it would be even pushing its luck as a bargain bin dvd release. The plot is about a woman who has nightmares of being stalked by a masked man. To help her get over her anxiety her husband takes her on a break. Not long after the man of her nightmares is stalking her for real. It’s dire from zero plot to zero talented actors, you can see the twist coming from miles off. Little pay off is there’s a few flashes of boobs and a pretty well done arrow through the head scene while being viewed beneath a woman’s legs. Honestly don’t bother even if your a die hard bad movie fan.'

(2 out of 10)