Lucky, 2011 - ★★½

Lucky, 2011 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"Are aphids the ones that bite the heads off their husbands"

Imaginary Friend

Light hearted romcom/thriller. Following a mild mothers boy and lady killing serial killer Ben (played by Tom Hanks jnr Colin Hanks). He's had a lifelong crush on his neighbor Lucy (Ari Graynor), only shes always spurned his advances until that is he wins 37 million dollars on the lottery. But can he keep the girl, the money and his killing hobby.

Very average comedy, theres slight Hitchcockian vibe that never develops enough to make it rise above being mediocre. I did sort of like both Ari Graynor as Lucy and Colin Hanks as Ben, but both their characters needed to have a nastier edge.

[PRFR]
Erm its not got much memorable, in fact I watched it yesterday and can't honestly remember an whole lot 24 hours later. Guess the all girl hot tub party with imaginary people stood out (shame about the bikinis).

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Female Teacher: Dirty Afternoon, 1981 - ★★½

Female Teacher: Dirty Afternoon, 1981 - ★★½
_REVIEWED_

"Its nice I get hooked on it... Man-aholism."

Delinquent student on about sex, while on a swing 

A usually shy and removed teacher strikes up a bond with one of her wayward students, when the police call her due to the students lack of parents. Has her relationship with the young student grows, it stirs deep rooted urges making her question her own lonely lifestyle.

Female Teacher Dirty Afternoon is supposedly the 8th entry in the Nikkatsu series that ran to an amazing 11. Personally I found it dull and a little lifeless, especially when viewed alongside the studios more notorious series. Theres two mild rape scenes that were clearly thrown in purely for titillation reasons, other than those segments its a very basic erotic drama, more than exploitation fest.

[PRFR]
Not much, but I was pretty amused by the students paint thinner huffing father and the fact the funky central theme tune was English.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Fairy in a Cage, 1977 - ★★½

Fairy in a Cage, 1977 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"Judge you're blushing like a teenage boy..."

Lieutenant Nishizaki (Hirokazu Inoue)

Historical Japanese pinku, set in a wwII military prison. Judge Murayama (Minoru Ōkōchi) along with his second in command Lieutenant Nishizaki (Hirokazu Inoue) abuse their power, and sexually torture the prisoners in their command. Only new recruit Taoka (Kazuo Satake) becomes infatuation with a woman wrongly imprisoned and decides to help her break free.

Average Nikkatsu studio guff featuring spanking, rope & candle torture even an enema and thats just the title sequence. Sadly the sedate pedestrian story offers little entertainment value to back up its mild smut. In fact the only memorable aspect is the period its set, and outside of the costumes thats barely used.

[PRFR]
The humorous inclusion of an itching potion on a pair of bound prisoners, for the simple reason they'll rub against each other.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Haunted Karaoke, 1997 - ★★½

Haunted Karaoke, 1997 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"How can I fight the ghosts, if I have only my dick!"

Big Eye Kuen (Frankie Ng Chi Hung)

Two police officers follow a suspect into a karoake bar. Only its far from a typical bar. Turns out the venue burnt down years earlier and the teenage party goers are really spirits, who want the cops help in tracking down the arsonists responsible.

Downright silly supernatural comedy from CATIII master 'Billy Tang Hin-Sing' and Golden Harvest studio. Sadly this ones aimed squarly at the romantic comedy market more than horror one. To its credit It at least had enough idiosyncratic HK oddness to hold my attention for its 90 minutes. Like hopping spirits, haunted tamagotchi's and samurai masked guardian spirits.

[PRFR]
A mild comic- sex scene one of our heroes beds a cute ghost named Red Shoes (the hot Jane Chung Chun), only it cuts away and we see him by himself like hes doing a goofy rodeo.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

13 eerie, 2013 - ★★½

13 eerie, 2013 - ★★½
REVIEWED

Average Canadian indie horror outing that starts with a cool concept and ends up just becoming another lame body count rack'em up. A group of forensic students get taken away to a training compound, where they're expected to study a set of medical supplied corpses. Only there happens to be more corpses than had been placed around the camp, and they're forced to fight for their life.

I'm not going to be cruel on this, I can't say it worked for me but I've seen far worse. Some of the gores pretty good, sadly during the last third most actions at night and is barely lit. The actings is also passable, its just a shame they didn't use the forensic camp concept in a better way.

[PRFR]

A bearded Nick Moran playing the camps stoner cook Larry 'where's me chickens' Jefferson.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Mama, 2013 - ★★½

Mama, 2013 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"I will come back from Clifton Forge with an answer"

Dr. Dreyfuss (Daniel Kash)

A disturbed man having killed his wife, flees to a remote cabin with his two young daughters. His intention is to kill his children so they don't have to face the horrors of life, only hes stopped in his tracks and the girls are left alone for 5 years, only are they really alone.

Bang a few creepy kids in a supernatural horror movie and you're usually onto a sure fire hit. Sadly Andrés Muschietti feature length version of Mama fails to deliver where it matter, namely in being scary. It isn't a total disaster it manages to build a sinister atmosphere early on, in fact for the first hour I was really enjoying it. Its when we finally see our completely CG rendered ghoul that it falls flat, and the film shifts from actually being an horror movie into being more of a fantasy. Didn't help I got confused with the same actor playing both the kids Dad and Uncle.

I just feel a little cheated being a huge horror fan, 'Mama' just fails to offer anything we've not seen dozens of times before and better. Its like they can just tag Guillermo del Toro's name or one of his movies to it and it will be an automatic success. For me 'Painless' was a far superior Spanish horror this year, and 'When the Lights Went Out' made a better child based supernatural chiller.

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]

The acting especially by the children is way above standard. As is the cinematography, like the glorious opening with the car speeding along the winding snowy roads (that was oddly reminiscent of Kubrick's The Shinning).

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Shameless, 2012 - ★★½

Shameless, 2012 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"So that's how it is in their family"

Ed Rooney the Principle in Ferris Bueller

Morally dubious and downright gloomy incestuous relationship slash social drama from Poland. Tadek moves back in with his sister Anka, whose now become a trophy date to her rising in politics boyfriend. Its clear both Tadek and Anka have been very close earlier in their lives, only the brother wants to take it further.

Shameless is not an easy film to judge, on one hand its got interesting statements to make on modern Polish life, especially with the gypsy character of Irmina whose built up an infatuation with Tadek. But on the other hand it suspiciously plays out like a slice of Eurosleaze, especially in the way Anka seemingly prances around most the film, subtly teasing her poor brother. I just wish the film would have made up its mind and been one or the other, instead of falling someplace between.

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]

The sexy Polish actresses Agnieszka Grochowska and Anna Próchniak.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Brain Smasher... A Love Story, 1993 - ★★★

Brain Smasher... A Love Story, 1993 - ★★★
REVIEWED

"This guys got no nutz!"

Old Miss Bellows (Dorothy Dells) after kicking a shaolin in the nads

Surprisingly entertaining comic book martial arts action nonsense with the diceman Andrew Dice Clay as brain smashing night club bouncer Ed Molloy. Eddies hired protection by Samantha (Teri Hatcher) whose trying to guard her sister from a gang of shaolin's, who are hellbent on tracking down a mythical lotus flower that has the a power to change the outcome of any battle.

Unmistakably 'Brain Smasher' is a poor mans 'Big Trouble in Little China' rip off, and its director Albert Pyun is far from being in John Carpenters league. But its still enjoyable if you switch the old grey matter off.

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]
Hatcher looked pretty hot back then, not much really stood out other than one or two of dicemans typically misogynistic comments.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Mr. McAllister's Cigarette Holder, 1994 - ★★½

Mr. McAllister's Cigarette Holder, 1994 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"My daddy was a Mason, he told me what they do to people who learns their secrets who ain't Masons"

Dora

Mr. McAllisters a road worker who grows a strange attachment with a cigarette holder, then he meets and falls in love with an Albino girl.

Odd b&w short, basically its a sincere way of showing how much someone means.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

KidZ, 2010 - ★★½

KidZ, 2010 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"People are slow and stupid when they're alive, they should be easier to handle when they're dead"

Max (Clive Holloway)

viewed this as part of the "Ultimate Zombie Feast - DVD Collection". Video game loving kidz are left to fend for themselves, when their parents die in a zombie invasion.

9 minute zombie short, that was no doubt heaps of fun for those involved. Cool garage guitar music, a simple enough short that packed a great faux ending.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Bitten, 2008 - ★★½

Bitten, 2008 - ★★½
REVIEWED

I viewed this as part of the "Ultimate Zombie Feast - DVD Collection". A woman held hostage in her home slowly turns zombie, whilst she relives the nightmare of having earlier killed her husband and children.

Not bad 6 minute English zombie short, managed to cover enough story and tension in its brief duration.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Come Out and Play, 2013 - ★★½

Come Out and Play, 2013 - ★★½

"I'm dripping in sweat... I'd kill for a shower."

Beth (Vinessa Shaw)

Visually appealing, though near scene for scene remake of Narciso Ibanez Serrador's classic horror movie 'Who Can Kill a Child?'. Francisco and Beth are a couple with the hopes of enjoying one last holiday together before their first child is born. They've planned to spend it in a renowned beauty spot on a remote Mexican island. Only the island seems deserted, with the exception of a bunch of sinister local children.

Actor Ebon Moss-Bachrach was very good as Francis, a little like a younger James Spader (an actor I'll be keeping my eyes out for) likewise Vinessa Shaw was OK, as his pregnant wife Beth. Its got beautiful tropical scenery & locations, which made a pleasant change from all the grim American woodlands and British council estates we've had an overkill of in horror movies recently. New director Makinov (who seems to like HUGE titles) plays it too safe and respects the source material a little too much for my liking, and it severally lacks the sinister appeal of the Spanish original. Until the final 10 minutes the kids just aren't creepy enough, they feel more like locals eager to get their faces on camera. I enjoy it, the 87 minutes flew by, but at the end of the day it was another needless remake.

Originally taken from Letterboxd