West of the Moon - ★★★★

West of the Moon - ★★★★
REVIEWED

"It was not a Great War, it was terrible."

Narrator (Michael John Galvin

Quirky and extremely glossy 10 minute short, linking various children's dream accounts into a fantasy ripping yarn. With the main universal themes being about age and memories of those we've lost.

Such an easy way to spend 10 minutes, it looks somewhat like an expensive beer commercial, but thats not exactly bad. Another gem I've stumbled upon thanks to a member on LBoxd.

[PRFR]
The whole 10 minutes are pure eye candy. But the moment that stuck out for me was when I understood it came from children's ideas, with the segment they change it from a bird in the kitchen to a robot, kinda makes you sad kids lose their imaginations as they grow older.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

The Demolitionist, 1995 - ★★★½

The Demolitionist, 1995 - ★★★½
REVIEWED

"I don't just blow shit up, I create new space"

Explosives Dealer Big Frank (Andre Rosey Brown)

You know the worlds gone to shit when your cities mayor is played by Susan Tyrrell. Robert Kurtzman's The Demolitionist' is a hugely entertaining B-grade action romp, that plagiarises 'Robocop' for all its 1k dollars worth. A futureshock city is torn apart by a criminal gang headed by Maddog (Richard Grieco). When officer Alyssa Lloyd (Nicole Eggert) gets violently slain on duty. The mayor enlists a scientist to bring her back from dead to put an end to the gangs reign.

Its tacky as shit, but such a rewarding and amusing viewing experience. What budget it got is thrown away on ever more massive explosions and guns that fire 10k bullets a pop. The casts a cult movie fans wet dream, its chocked with the likes of Bruce Abbott, Bruce Campbell and Tom Savini, I love Susan Tyrrell she never fails to impress.

[PRFR]
Explosions, boobs, the 3rd rate Snake Plisken, shoot offs, bikes, Grieco body melting and even more explosions. In other words, everything that makes for a rewarding no brainer.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Lucky, 2011 - ★★½

Lucky, 2011 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"Are aphids the ones that bite the heads off their husbands"

Imaginary Friend

Light hearted romcom/thriller. Following a mild mothers boy and lady killing serial killer Ben (played by Tom Hanks jnr Colin Hanks). He's had a lifelong crush on his neighbor Lucy (Ari Graynor), only shes always spurned his advances until that is he wins 37 million dollars on the lottery. But can he keep the girl, the money and his killing hobby.

Very average comedy, theres slight Hitchcockian vibe that never develops enough to make it rise above being mediocre. I did sort of like both Ari Graynor as Lucy and Colin Hanks as Ben, but both their characters needed to have a nastier edge.

[PRFR]
Erm its not got much memorable, in fact I watched it yesterday and can't honestly remember an whole lot 24 hours later. Guess the all girl hot tub party with imaginary people stood out (shame about the bikinis).

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Return of the Moonwalker, 2013 - ½

Return of the Moonwalker, 2013 - ½
REVIEWED

"I'm Black, and I'm White, I'm Dark, and I'm Light, I'm Yin-yang Hermaphrodite..."

Michael Jackson (Michael Rider)

Atrociously bad and painfully unfunny German comedy. A midget and his ladyboy lover/sex slave, dig up the corpse of Michael Jackson so a side show performer can resurrect him from the dead.

I knew going into this turkey that it wasn't going to be highbrow or have great artistic merit. But 'Return of the Moonwalker' seriously lacks any worthy aspect. The gags fall flat outside of being crude and offensive they lack humor, the acting gives a new meaning to substandard (doesn't help they're a German cast speaking English) and the plots all over the fucking place, theres not even much screentime given to the MJ performer.

[PRFR]
Another steamer I'm trying to block from my memory, so doubt I'll remember much, in fact I'll probably need counselling for the tasteful opening scene with an S&M midget fucking the ugliest ladyboy imaginable in the ass.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

The Almost Man, 2012 - ★★★½

The Almost Man, 2012 - ★★★½
REVIEWED

"She can uncoil her boobs until they are 10-12 meters long..."

Henrik (Henrik Rafaelsen)

35 year old Norwegian Henrik is bored with the mundanity of modern adult life, so hes refused to fully mature. Only his worlds pushed into crises when his girlfriend Tone tells him shes pregnant.

Martin Lund's debut movie is an odd toned romantic comedy, that actually plays more like a drama and character study of a man child. Henrik Rafaelsen who looks somewhere between 'The It Crowds' Chris O'Dowd and 'League of Gents' Mark Gatiss, plays Henrik so well its easy to believe you're just watching a guys daily life. Likewise Janne Heltberg is hugely likable as his girlfriend Tone, just a shame the nudity in the film was all male. I really liked The Almost Man, its not perfect or entertaining every second, but it definitely comes from an honest place.

[PRFR]
The scene Henrick gets caught pissing on a copy of Peter Pan, which was probably a reference to defacing a character that never grows up.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Ubit Drakona, 1988 - ★★★★

Ubit Drakona aka Kill the Dragon 1988 - ★★★★
REVIEWED

"The only way to get rid of a dragon, is to have ones own dragon."

The Archivist 

 

Beguiling Russian fable that uses the age old theme of an Hero vs Dragon as its backdrop to study human nature and why society will always be governed by one system or another and never be truly free. A traveler who claims to be a descendant of Lancelot walks into a city to find it under the grip of the tyrannical Mr Dragon. Our hero learns that anyone has a right to challenge the Dragon, only do the backward nations people really need or want their freedom back.

The movies all over the damn place, theres musical numbers and science fiction thrown in among its more dramatic moments. But even though its absurd its got an extremely sharp plot and makes great points. I'll be honest, a touch of the more political aspects flew gleefully over my head, outside of the Cold War and Stalin I'm very ignorant to Soviet Union politics. The structure of 'Ubit Drakona aka Kill the Dragon' reminded me most of Jack Arnold's anti war/establishment classic 'The Mouse That Roared', in that its really a comedy about the little man making a stand. Hell Oleg Yankovskiy as Mr Dragon hops into several persona's equally as well as Sellers managed to do. In fact the acting is solid throughout especially from Yankovskiey and Aleksandr Abdulov as our hero. Like most Russian fantasy movies its visually sumptuous, the locations used and peculiar architecture really add to the other world & time feel.

[PRFR]
Some of the crazy policys used like boarding up every window in the city so its populus can't see the truth. And the clever ending with children watching a man flying a dragon kite, open to being taught an alternative way of life.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

The Peanut Butter Solution, 1985 - ★★★½

The Peanut Butter Solution, 1985 - ★★★½
_REVIEWED_

"Its a case of the hair'em scare'em..."

Dr. Epstein (Harry Hill)

Fun, twisted children's fantasy from Canada. Due to shock while in an haunted house a boy named Michael loses his hair. Out of frustraition he ends up using a magical peanut butter potion to help it grow back. Only it causes his hair to grow extremely long and fast. In steps a sinister arts teacher, who uses this to his advantage to make magic paintbrushes.

Though a touch dated feeling, its still very inventive even downright surreal at times. I'd never heard of it until today but I guess it was a real treat to see back on its release in the 80's. Visually it looks pretty much TV quality, in fact a fair few of the cast I'd seen in Degrassi Junior High.

[PRFR]
The wickedly OTT performance of the kidnapping arts teacher/maniacal painter (aren't they all).

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Haunted Karaoke, 1997 - ★★½

Haunted Karaoke, 1997 - ★★½
REVIEWED

"How can I fight the ghosts, if I have only my dick!"

Big Eye Kuen (Frankie Ng Chi Hung)

Two police officers follow a suspect into a karoake bar. Only its far from a typical bar. Turns out the venue burnt down years earlier and the teenage party goers are really spirits, who want the cops help in tracking down the arsonists responsible.

Downright silly supernatural comedy from CATIII master 'Billy Tang Hin-Sing' and Golden Harvest studio. Sadly this ones aimed squarly at the romantic comedy market more than horror one. To its credit It at least had enough idiosyncratic HK oddness to hold my attention for its 90 minutes. Like hopping spirits, haunted tamagotchi's and samurai masked guardian spirits.

[PRFR]
A mild comic- sex scene one of our heroes beds a cute ghost named Red Shoes (the hot Jane Chung Chun), only it cuts away and we see him by himself like hes doing a goofy rodeo.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Ooga Booga, 2013 - ★½

Ooga Booga, 2013 - ★½
REVIEWED

"Do you want me to show you why they call me a finger puppet"

Ooga Booga (voiced by Bob Ramos)

Having covered nazisploitation, drugsploitation & breadsploitation with Puppet Master, Evil Bong & Gingerdead Man. Full Moon's Chas Band turns his lowbrow doll skills towards blaxploitation, with a totally politically incorrect bone through the nose tribesman named Ooga Booga. Plots about a children's pig entertainer named Hambo, leaving one of his fans Devlin a replica doll. Only while buying his girlfriend a slushy, Dev gets caught up in a store robbery and gets killed by a racist cop. His blood mixes with slushy mix, which make the lifeless doll come alive and seek revenge.

Ooga Booga's one of those movies aimed squarely at the undemanding stoner audience. Sure the doll itself looks pretty neat and will bag one or two laughs, sadly the story especially the lame jokes are terrible. Guess it was nice to see stalwarts like Stacey Keach and Karen Black still acting (if only to prove they're still both breathing).

[PRFR]

Ooga getting some spear relief after walking into his girlfriend showering.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Trainspotting, 1996 - ★★★★★

Trainspotting, 1996 - ★★★★★
REVIEWED

"Would sir care for a starter of some garlic bread perhaps?"

Swanney (Peter Mullan)

"No, thank you. I will proceed directly to the IV of hard drugs, please."

Renton (Ewan McGregor)

Just had the massive urge to rewatch this again over the weekend, with all the hype over the sequel finally getting the green light along with Boyle having a new movie out. Not sure what I think about the sequel, but if anyones going to make it glad its Boyle.

Choose... amazingly bleak humor (which remains immensely quotable).

Choose... fantastic music (which ranges from timeless rock, 90s Brit indie and often quirky incidental elevator music).

Choose... fine performances and direction (arguably the best picture entire cast and crew have ever made).

Choose... Kelly Mcdonalds T'n'A

Choose to wind up at the end of the 90 minutes feeling totally entertained.

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]

The whole damn package is still amazing, little I didn't remember from last time I caught it (a good 2 or 3 years back). I had forgot how great Ewan McGregor used to be, I last caught him in that dull lifeless tsunami movie. And how much time both the characters of Tommy & Swanney got.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Between Time and Timbuktu, 1972 - ★★★½

Between Time and Timbuktu, 1972 - ★★★½
REVIEWED

"I think that I'm traveling through my own nightmares... ohh and a few nice dreams too"

Astronaut Stoney Stevenson (William Hickey)

Idiosyncratic and downright surreal made for TV science fiction fantasy & social satire based on various Kurt Vonnegut Jr scribblings. Average American Stoney Stevensen is the not so lucky winner of a fizzy drinks contest that promises to put a man into space. Only the spacecraft Prometheus 5 takes poor Stoney on a voyage of self discovery and to the verge of madness.

The writing and plot is all over the damn place which gives it a very disjointed feel, the only theme that constantly carries from one segment to the next is the anti establishment vibe. The more surreal segments include tropical hippy communes, cryogenic sperm banks hell theres even a little yellow submarine style animated piece thrown in. Age hasn't been so kind but it still makes a great curiosity, sad that modern Television doesn't take risks on material like this anymore.

"I'm not in control of my own destiny... its a miracle I can control my own bladder."

Stoney (William Hickey)

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]
The moments Stoney goes crazy, and starts speaking with himself, we even got multiple images of him.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Sightseers, 2012 - ★★★½

Sightseers, 2012 - ★★★½
REVIEWED

"I wouldnt shit on you Chris, not unless you asked me to"

Tina (Alice Lowe)

Right Tina our next stop is... Sightseers is a darkly humourous vacation nightmare. Anal retentive Chris takes his withdrawn mother fixated new girlfriend Tina, on a sightseeing camping trip of the great Northern English countryside. Only theres more under the surface of Chris & Tina's heady world of named caravans, quaint museums and sexy knitted underwear than first meets the eye.

Sightseers is one of those movies that succeeds in being both cringe inducingly bleak and hilarious in equal measures. Its sort of Natural Born Killers meets Carry on Camping, or National Lampoons European Vacation by way of Hammer. In fact outside of BBC's League of Gentlemen I've not seen rural comedy so dark, probably Klovn: The Movie would be closest recent film, thats similar.

"Hes not a person Tina, hes a daily mail reader."

Chris (Steve Oram)

Director Ben Wheatley does a fine job of capturing the mundane world of camping, even managing to throw in some lovely footage of the countryside. The central performances from Steve Oram as Chris and Alice Lowe as Tina are spot on (they also both threw their own material into the mix). Likewise Amy Jump's script, is briming with subtle and not so subtle satire. Highlight for me was the few times Tina came out of her shell, from being a timid knitting & dog loving home girl to being full on smut, with foul mouth rants about using shit for lipstick.... Ohh and that ending was standing ovation worthy, everyone loves an happy ending, right!.

[PRFR: Personal Reasons For Remembering]
Reminded me how fucking dull British caravaning holidays are, use of our national hymn Jerusalem and the ending.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

The Outcasts, 1985 - ★★★★

The Outcasts, 1985 - ★★★★
REVIEWED

"Horrible hairy, boozy, smelly, pervy bikers!... but they're nice people."

Pub Barman

Viewed as part of my Beware the Docs of March Marathon 1. Hilarious documentary, following an hard Heineken® drinkin', cheeky pot smokin' & speed abusin' Great Yarmouth based biker gang, who are sort of a low rent chapter of the English hells angels.

Taken from the British 'Forty Minutes' one off short documentaries, The Outcasts was so painfully funny you'd be forgiven for thinking it was a 'Spinal Tap' style soof mockumentary. The gang only consist of 30 odd members (best to keep it small, so we know everyone) but they do meetings with other gangs and get upwards of 150 showing up. They love their mams and seemingly make their club funds by running a burger van, during the film most the members get caught in a DHSS fraud swoop. Not the best doc I've ever seen, but one of the more funnier ones. Hell even the darker, more serious sides to the film made me laugh, like one of their members Wulf's funeral.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Franz Kafka's It's a Wonderful Life, 1995 - ★★★★

Franz Kafka's It's a Wonderful Life, 1995 - ★★★★
REVIEWED

"Jiminy Cockroach... what times are hard."

Woland (Ken Stott)

Wickedly stylish, nightmarish short that twists Franz Kafka's classic tale 'The Metamorphosis' with Frank Capra's legendary It's A Wonderful Life. Mr. K suffers a turbulent spell of anxiety leading to writers block, he starts to get more and more depressed while his imagination gets the better of him.

Visually and aurally spellbinding, with a fantastic cast featuring Richard E. Grant and Ken Stott. Throw in a cool concept, adds up to make a rewarding short movie.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

Seven Gates, 1997 - ★★★

Seven Gates, 1997 - ★★★
REVIEWED

"This is a massive mistake, the whole universe is telling me not to be here."

Daryl (Richard Waugh)

Two brothers take a strange winery journey to visit their dad. They have to keep stopping at gates to proceed, so decide its wise to keep changing driver and passenger. On reaching the final gate they find its locked.
The short features amusing surreal dialog between the two characters, as they share stories and learn a little bit more about one and other. The country theme tune by Lonesome Dave's 'Shut up Bitch I'm Talking' is a real gem.

Originally taken from Letterboxd

The Deal, 1998 - ★★★★

The Deal, 1998 - ★★★★
REVIEWED

"The power and the glory"

Veneer (Larry Pine) while pointing to his balls

Two powerful businessmen hatch a plan to merge their assets, while sharing mutual respect and the odd insult. They're possibly God and the Devil, but hey doesn't everyone in high power positions think they are.

Hilarious absurd short features heaps of fantasticly twisted dialog, golden scrotum's, funky dad dancing and briliant performances from both Joe Grifasi and Larry Pine. Its like a mini episode of Mad Men only with more balls.

Originally taken from Letterboxd